A friend told me this week that he is getting married, after knowing her 3 months. To me this seems a bit wrong as they see each other once a week and, on average, a date would last 3-5 hours. So that's at most 36-60 hours in total! How is it possible to commit to someone after that time, especially if neither feel the inclination to see the other more then once a week (believe me, both of them have the time).
He's not alone in this, ok at this point I should probably give some back ground here, I'm a “second generation British Asian” (whatever that means) as are a number of my friends. I'm single and live in London.
Where was I? Oh, he's not alone in this, quite a few of my friends (both male and female) feel the need to be hitched by the age of 26, I'm not quite sure why but this is just accepted as the norm, to the point where over dinner a friend told me “we are going to have to start scraping the bottom for the barrel for you” (I'm 27).
I have no real objections to this if you have found someone special, have spent a fair amount of time with that person, know who they are and are happy with them. But this isn't what's happening, it seems like the new path is, find someone who's vaguely ok, marry them, then get to know them. The number of gripes and complaints I personally listen to about someone's other half. My first thought is almost always “Shirley you knew this about them before you committed the rest of your life to this person!”
The question I really have to ask is “why?” is the average life expectancy getting lower (noone told me)? Is living alone as a single person really that bad? Personally I love my life and don't feel a huge urgency to change it. So what is going on here?
Last year, I witnessed 2 divorces, it's not pretty, let's hope this year is better.
All I know for sure is that, given the sample of people I know, now is a great time to be a marriage therapist....... It's just a shame that's not what I do.
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