Unpretty

I have a friend, she's the sort of friend who isn't in italics or inverted commas, just to be clear. She's a wonderful person to while away the hours with, she's great fun, intelligent and has everything going for her. She's also very attractive but this is where it all falls apart, she seems to be the only person who doesn't see that.

This isn't just a self esteem issue, it's almost as if it's the complete opposite of Narcissism. She looks into a mirror and actually hates what she sees. I know to varying degrees that at some point in everyones life, they've wanted to change something or another, everyone has had a self-image issue but most seem to get over it and they accept their own flaws.

I think one of the lowest points one can get to is when a relationship goes sour for a reason you just can't fathom, I would imagine this would leave you (if it was a long enough relationship) with nothing in your life that you can hold onto but what if this feeling stayed with you? It's crazy, I know, but it does happen. In this case tho, it runs a lot deeper, I'm sure Freud would say something about childhood and parental interaction, how (as so often Freud does) the mother would have chipped away at your self esteem until there was nothing left and how this will effect and future relationship you have. This doesn't seem to be the reason here, she had a 'normal' childhood and her parents were nothing but supportive.

An issue with your self esteem or self image will effect almost every aspect of your life, you'll spend your days thinking your awful at your job, you get this slight downer feeling every time you go past a reflective shop front, I can't even imagine what a morning would be like I you can't look at a mirror, weighing yourself and seeing a few grams more then you did last time would be a nightmare.

In short it hurts me to see someone I care about going through this but that's nothing compared what she must be feeling. I was an incredibly insecure teen, I would hate myself, and I really mean hate, there was nothing I liked and the problem was the fact I was focusing totally on what I and other people saw. What people need to do is (to cite a bit of a cliche) look within and realise that you are a beautiful person, only then are you able to ignore all the bad comments others (who know nothing about you) throw at you (I'm not talking about constructive criticism here).

Only once you are comfortable with who you are, will you be comfortable with how you look and only then will you be comfortable with the people around you, after that you can truly enjoy life.